I didn't want to write this, but in the interest of everything, it needed to be said.

  This has been a long, stressful, week, and at the end of it, the verdict is this. Guys, I'm sick.  There's no easy way to say it.  After three months, my diabetes isn't where the doctor would  like it to be, even though my A1C is going down, so they're upping my meds, adding a new one to the mix, and ordering a battery of blood tests for me.   Checking my thyroid, my lipids, all sorts of fun stuff.  Because there's something definitely wrong with me, and after self medicating and ignoring it for months, I need to get things checked out.   I hope it's nothing too serious, and in all likelihood, they'll probably tell me I'm anemic on top of everything else.   This'll sound strange, but I hope they do find out that part of why I've been feeling so crappy lately is physical, and easily fixed.
The meds I'm on now make me tired, nauseous, and headachy.  I don't know what the new ones will do.  As they're for my diabetes, I HAVE to take them.  I've cut out much of the crap I used to eat, but still need to learn to eat better.   I have an appointment for the nutritionist next month and I"m going to start regular classes with her.   At the dentist, I found out I'm going to most probably have all my teeth out and get dentures, top and bottom.  This whole process will take about four months.  Joy.

After enduring three months of crying at least five times every day, and feeling basically miserable, I went back to the psychiatrist, who said to me, "You sound depressed".  REALLY?   Seriously, he's a good guy, and frustrated that almost every drug he's tried me on has failed.  So, this is my last shot.
http://www.emsam.com/
He's starting me on a low dose, then, if that doesn't do it, he'll give me more, meaning more side effects, less things I can eat....oh, this trial and error stuff is so much fun.  If that doesn't work, the only other alternative is ECT.(Electro shock therapy) that scares the crap out of me.  Or, I learn to live with and manage the depression better.  Also, pretty scary.
  So, what does this all mean?  I'm not sure.  Until I adjust to all the changes, it's likely I'll be more tired, more stressed, more worried.  I may not be around much, I may be around more.
I'll probably be weepy, and needy sometimes, not my usual sarcastic self.
I want to stay positive.  I do.   But as  you all know, that's not something that comes easy for me.
I need you guys very much right now.
And here's what I mean by that.
Be patient with me.
Bear with me when I'm sad, or frustrated, or don't feel like talking, or even listening some times. Or if I talk your ear off and call you and cry. Bear with me if I text or tweet you 20 times a day(it's highly doubtful this will happen, but on the off chance it does...be patient.) If I happen to bite your head off, or be impatient, forgive me.
If you pray, pray.  If you don't, send good thoughts.
If you're so inclined, tell me good things about myself.  Tell me I"ll get through this, as I've gotten through everything.
Practically, I know this isn't the end of the world.  Practically, I know things could be a zillion times worse.
However, living alone, and dealing with all of this, is, at the moment, weighing really heavy on me.
You guys have always been there for me already, and I love you all for it.  I'm just letting you know, the next few months are going to be...well, maybe a little more interesting than usual.
But I'm still me.  And hopefully, I'll be a better me soon.
Thanks for reading.  <3 p="">