Anyway, so. May is MHM, and as everyone who reads this blog knows, I live with a long list of diagnosis which make my life, for lack of a better word, interesting. Things lately have been rough. Issues with family and friends, getting final closure of a long term relationship, pining for my dead husband, have made many things hard to bear.
The other day I walked into Barnes and Noble and saw a BOOKCASE full of the Infernal Book. I wanted to scream. So many people have told me in the past few weeks "This book is what people want." If that's truly the case, I'm screwed. I can't and won't write that stuff. It goes against almost everything I believe.
Like I said this past week has been a mess. So, last night, after crying for at least an hour, I called our County's Helpline. Their advertising reads, "Feeling hopeless? Call----" I've had bad experiences before with them, people were short and occasionally downright nasty to me. This time was no exception. I got put on hold just as I started to cry because another line was ringing. This is about the 5th time this has happened. In frustration, I hung up . When I called back I was told "If you're NOT suicidal, I have to answer another line, " in the most uncaring tone possible. Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. I found out this morning that the people who staff this line are PAID. Again WTF.
So, I wrote a letter to the editor this morning. I don't know if anything will come of it, but, here it is.
To whom it may concern-
I am a consumer of mental health services in Poughkeepsie. While I am blessed to have Dr. Scott Barkstrom, who works at the Mental Health clinic at St Francis Hospital as my primary therapist, I am only permitted to see him once a week. Since I live with major depression, there are on occasions, other times when I need to speak to someone.
As F. Scott Fitzgerald said, "In the dark night of the soul, it is always three in the morning." and it is often late at night when I am feeling most hopeless. As the clinic is not open I have availed myself of The Department of Mental Health's Helpline, and therin lies the the problem.
I'm not sure who trains the people who answer the phones, but in the last few times I have called, I've been met with indifference,combativeness, and impatience.
There have been many times that I've been put on hold because another line was ringing regardless of how upset I'd been. This happened again last night, and in frustration, I hung up. When I called back I was told, quite abruptly, "If you're NOT suicidal, I have to answer another line". I was shocked, stunned and hurt by this response.
People who suffer from Mental Illness need compassion and patience. If Helpline is ONLY a number to call when an individual is feeling suicidal, the advertising should state that.
It's only through the grace of God that I am here this morning. Strangely enough, it was this incident that almost made me forget my own problems and want to bring this to people's attention. I can't imagine what might have happened if another, person maybe more distraught than myself would have received this sort of response.
In closing, I just want to say I'm not writing this to complain, but to shine a light on this problem. I hope that Bill Cuscak, who is the supervisor of Dutchess County Helpline will read this letter, and hopefully implement some real changes.
Thank you.
Anne Mikusinski
Like I said, I don't know if anything will come of it.
Monday I'm going into NYC, just to have a day away from everything. Whether I come back or not, remains to be seen. I understand it's very easy to 'get lost ' there.
Good for you, Anne. I hope that letter does some good.
ReplyDeleteIt won't. They most likely won't even print it. I wish I were dead.
ReplyDelete